Tonya Carter is a certified relationship coach, author, speaker and podcast host that specializes in helping divorced women find their voice, regain their power and obtain personal freedom to live a thriving life.
Her podcast, “The Reinvent U Podcast”, focuses on mindset, emotions, finances, health, faith, love, parenting and building meaningful relationships, in order to become the best version of themselves in their personal lives, families and professional environment.
She is also the author of the book, "Divorce Your Story: A Woman’s Guide to Heal & Thrive after Divorce."
In this episode of the Gumball Love Podcast, Tonya opens up about her journey from divorce, five job losses in four years, unhealthy relationships, financial hardships, health setbacks and balancing single motherhood. She decided to stop being the victim and became the victor of her life and shares with us how she helps other women do the same!
OMG! The response to Dr. Debbie’s podcast was crazy. People were mad, triggered, freed, confused, liberated and everything in between.
I wasn’t expecting this at all. I was one of the ones that felt freed. If you read my previous blog post, it was the moment I realized I had signed the subconscious contract with my mother.
But the shocker was: This contract makes me emotionally unavailable!! What??? (ok we will dig in to this in a little bit but first…
This does NOT mean I have to break up with my Mom. In fact, my mom listened to the podcast and we had an amazing conversation. Now when I talk to my mom, I know the topics that are off limits. I know what tweaks I have to make. Do I catch myself in old habits? Sure… but….
It’s about the shifting the balance and it’s not an overnight change!
So many people I coached the following week felt pressure...
Today’s podcast is soooo good! What a weird title though right? What do my parents have to do with the fact that I’m single? It might be EVERYTHING.
Now, before you think there is something wrong with you for being single OR that we are going to blame Mom and Dad for everything… let me stop you there. That’s not where this is going…
In the podcast you literally hear me go to therapy with Dr. Debbie and feel the pain and agony of a realization I hadn’t had in 16 years of searching. I believe now, with 100% certainty, it’s why I have attracted Gumball Guys for so long.
It’s tough for me to say this to you, but I want you to see that I am also still very much on this journey. What I am about to share is very personal yet I know you will be able to relate as we are probably a lot alike.
My parents divorced when I was 12 years old. It was the few months leading up to...
On this episode of Gumball Love we have ANOTHER incredible guest..Cynthia Kuehn from The Siren Confidential blog.
Do you feel like you just have SO much on your plate lately? You've typically thought of yourself to be a self-disciplined person but lately you just can't seem to manage your time and everything you've got going on. You feel like you're swimming against the current with no end in sight. Maybe you constantly regret saying "yes" to things that you probably should have said "no" to. Well...CYNTHIA'S GOT YOU!
Cynthia is a California-based lifestyle blogger, turned, female empowerment coach. She came a nine to five medical sales job and started The Siren Confidential blog as more of a creative outlet to share her passions of all things fashion, fitness, lifestyle and life hacks.
She transitioned into coaching earlier this year. She knew she wanted it to work with females more on a one to one basis and to do something more...
I'm SO excited to be collaborating again with my good friend, mentor, and inspiration in so many ways, Cara Alwill Leyba from The Champagne Diet. Cara is a female empowerment coach, blogger, podcast host, and self-published author of 9 books, including the best seller Girl Code.
Today, on 11/11, and eleven years since she first started this journey with The Champagne Diet blog, she is releasing her 9th book, Girl on Fire: How to choose yourself, burn the rule book, and blaze your own trail in life and business.
I love Cara and her book because unlike a lot of other coaches out there who will tell you they know the best way to do things, Cara inspires you to find YOUR way, to blaze YOUR unique trail and find what lights YOUR fire. She is also extremely relatable, in the sense that she struggled with her weight for years, had deep self-esteem issues, dated guys that were wrong for her, and settled for less.
In this episode, we'll teach you how to identify what self-limiting...
How do you know if he's really falling in love? How do you know if the guy on the other side of the screen is really looking for true connection or if he's full of crap? In this episode, we're talking about how to know if the romance you're experiencing is really built to last for the long term or if it's just a temporary high that will leave and come back again for as long as you allow it.
This week, be mindful in noticing what inspires you. What gives you the full-body goosebump chills? What are the simple things that you just LOVE?
When you've been in Gumball Guy relationships and you've only thought about what they want and what they need, you lose who you are. After a relationship like that, finding a hobby feels like a daunting task. In reality, we...
Today I will be announcing a BIG EXCITING announcement about the Back to YOU Academy and membership program!! Listen in for details:D
Also, I'll be addressing an interesting thing a dude said to one of the girls I’m coaching. After a while of fun dates, he expressed that he’s no longer interested, with the reasoning: “I guess I just need the chase.”
An ages-old tactic that still makes its way into dating advice articles for some reason. The idea that the woman has to be mysterious, and not give away too much, to keep the guy on the hook so he keeps interested.
But is this tactic legitimate? Let’s stop and REALLY examine this. So often we hear it and we just take it at surface level because we’ve heard it over and over so it becomes just part of the things we “know” until they’re proven wrong (like how we “need” to eat meat to get enough protein).
So when he says he needs the chase, what does that really...
Why do men cheat? The answers to this question that you'll find online or that a cheater will tell you are the biggest lies we are told as women. The answers are made to make us feel as though we are somehow responsible for their behavior and that we have the power to change it.
Cheater/society: "All men cheat."
Mainstream media response: "8 ways to spice up your love life so he doesn't want to cheat!"
In this episode I'll be referencing the work of therapist Dr. Robert Weiss in his article, 13 Reasons Why Men Cheat and applying the Gumball Love concept so we can understand the difference between the lies and the bad dating advice, and the truth and good dating advice.
But first! Self-Care Tip of the Week
Get a facial monthly or quarterly! Facials are a time for relaxation. You get to put the...
Sometimes we'd do more to help our friends than we do to help ourselves. We have the best intentions and think we're helping her get over this jerk guy she's dating, but sometimes we're actually making the process longer for her.
This episode will teach you how to compassionately help your friend (or your daughter, or your mom, whoever!) through this tough time, and might even show you how you can be more compassionate to yourself. I have for you 23 tips and questions to ask that I personally use when I'm coaching my girls, to help her see for herself that he is a jerk. You'll find out why telling her to leave him is NOT effective.
"The goal of the conversation is never to get her to break up with him. Ever." -Melissa Leger, dating expert and creator of Gumball Love
Book a doctors...
Why do we date the wrong guy over and over again? I've covered a lot in the past about why the bad guys (the Gumball Guys) act the way they do, but it's time to talk about YOU. There's two people involved in these relationships and you're one of them, so what's your part in all of this?
In this podcast episode I will cover 9 reasons why you might be caught in this pattern of always dating bad guys (even when you've spent time in therapy!). By the end of this episode you will have the questions to ask yourself in order to really become self-aware about your behavioral patterns and where they came from. You'll also know how joining the Back to YOU Academy can help you go even deeper on finding the root cause of these behaviors and how to truly heal.
1. Block Him