My Unpopular Opinion on Feeling Butterflies

A lot of coaches out there will tell you feeling butterflies around a new guy is a bad sign, because it means your nervous system is recognizing danger. This just isn't totally true, butterflies CAN actually be a good thing, as long as they're not overtaking your ability to spot the potential red flags.

In this episode, I'm breaking down:

  • What the sensation of butterflies actually is from a physiological perspective
  • Why, from a physiological perspective, butterflies aren't always a bad thing
  • My personal experience with butterflies and how it's gone both good and bad
  • When feeling butterflies becomes a bad thing
  • How you can distinguish between when the butterflies are a warning sign vs. just excitement

Feeling uncomfortable on dates, like you have to perform, be someone you're not, anxious wondering what he's thinking of you? I help my clients feel totally confident in their skin on dates, and to know how to spot the red flags. You don't have to be currently dating to work...


How to Stand Out on Your Dating Profile

Not attracting the quality men you're looking for on the dating sites? In this episode, I give you my proven top tips for improving your online dating profile and the first couple interactions to collapse your timeline and find your high-quality man faster. 

We talk about:

  • How to make sure your profile isn't generic and stands out from the crowd while staying true to who you are
  • Red flags to look out for in the initial text messages with a guy so you can filter through the duds faster and save loads of time
  • How soon you should move away from texting and move to phone/video call or in-person meet up
  • How to grow your self-worth so you no longer settle for Gumball Guys

Work with Melissa

Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? If you're tired of being the only person in your friend group who's not in a healthy, happy relationship, I can help you! Here's how:


Why Professional Women Struggle to Find Love

Are you killing it at your professional live, but struggling to find the man of your dreams? Most clients who come to me are much more confident and comfortable walking in to a board room than walking in to a first date, so if that's you, you're not alone!

In this episode, I give you the top reasons my clients were struggling to connect with high-quality men, and how I help them stop the cycle of toxic love, discover their worth, and find true love.

Work with Melissa

If you're done dating man babies and ready to find a lasting, true connection, I can help you! Here's how:


What Does it Really Mean to be "Ready for Love"?

How do you know if you are "ready for love"? The depiction of love and romance in Hollywood movies certainly sets the wrong expectations for us around what healthy love, dating and relationships look like. After many years of dating and relationships, learning from the mistakes, and finally meeting the love of my life at age 43, I share how I knew I was ready for love.

Below are some key questions to ask yourself:

  • What's the intention behind you dating right now? Is it out of boredom or loneliness? Or pressure from friends and family?
  • Are you happy and fulfilled in your life right now?
  • Are you who you truly want to be? Are you embodying the best version of yourself?
  • What exactly are you looking for in a partner? What do you want and need?


Resources Mentioned

How to Do the Work by Nicole LePera

Work with Melissa

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The Purple Gumball: Chase Me

"Work is so crazy right now, but we should meet up soon." -text from a guy, probably sitting on his couch, who wants the Purple Gumball

If you're new to Gumball Love, welcome! Gumball Love is a concept created to help women see the red flags of fake love, and be able to identify real, unconditional love.

Each flavor "Gumball" represents a type of attention that a person is seeking from you. They will give you a "quarter" so you give them a gumball, and then they get "high" off the attention, like a sugar rush. They may therefore act like they care for you and love you, but it's really just to get the kind of attention they want from you.

I've been doing a podcast series going into depth and detail about each flavor gumball, or each type of attention, so you can really start to see the nuances and get really good at spotting the guys who aren't seeking a real intimate connection. The links to previous episodes in the series are at the bottom, I suggest you start from the...


Does He Need the Chase? (And big announcement!!) [Podcast EP 51]

Today I will be announcing a BIG EXCITING announcement about the Back to YOU Academy and membership program!! Listen in for details:D

Also, I'll be addressing an interesting thing a dude said to one of the girls I’m coaching. After a while of fun dates, he expressed that he’s no longer interested, with the reasoning: “I guess I just need the chase.”

The chase.

An ages-old tactic that still makes its way into dating advice articles for some reason. The idea that the woman has to be mysterious, and not give away too much, to keep the guy on the hook so he keeps interested.

But is this tactic legitimate? Let’s stop and REALLY examine this. So often we hear it and we just take it at surface level because we’ve heard it over and over so it becomes just part of the things we “know” until they’re proven wrong (like how we “need” to eat meat to get enough protein).

So when he says he needs the chase, what does that really...


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