When we've dated Gumball Guys in the past, often it's daunting and scary to get back into dating because we've been burned before. We're a bit jaded and skeptical that all guys are jerks.

Well, hindsight is always 20/20, but we can try some things during the dating stage to test the waters and see if he's really ready for love and commitment. 

Junk "dating advice" will give you a lot of short-term strategies for getting a Gumball Guy. Well, ya got him..and now you wish you never met him. This episode is about LONG-TERM..how to actually find the right guy for you, who will be someone you can lean on in tough times, a teammate to take on life together.

Tune in to this episode to find out what type of inner work you should be doing to see if you are ready for love, as well as what you should be looking out for in a guy to see if he has the capacity to love as well.

Resources Mentioned

How to Do the Work by Nicole LePera

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How do you know if you are "ready for love"? The depiction of love and romance in Hollywood movies certainly sets the wrong expectations for us around what healthy love, dating and relationships look like. After many years of dating and relationships, learning from the mistakes, and finally meeting the love of my life at age 43, I share how I knew I was ready for love.

Below are some key questions to ask yourself:

• What's the intention behind you dating right now? Is it out of boredom or loneliness? Or pressure from friends and family?
• Are you happy and fulfilled in your life right now?
• Are you who you truly want to be? Are you embodying the best version of yourself?
• What exactly are you looking for in a partner? What do you want and need?

Resources Mentioned

How to Do the Work by Nicole LePera

Work with Melissa

Book a call with Melissa: https://melissa-leger.mykajabi.com/workwithme

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You may have heard someone say at some point in your life, "thoughts are things."

This saying took on a whole new meaning for me after listening to The Ed Mylette Show episode with Dr. Caroline Leaf. Dr. Caroline Leaf is a neuroscientist, mental health and mind expert and if you're not following her on Instagram...what are you doing!!

I'm already a huge fan of her work but the way she just explained this concept about thoughts really blew my mind and I had to hop on the mic and share with you guys!

Basically, when we are thinking, you can actually SEE with a microscope something physically forming in the brain. And it looks like a tree! The thought starts, and that's the trunk of the tree, then as you think more thoughts related to that, the trunk grows branches, and the branches grow leaves. 

AND..the trees can shrink and disappear as you don't continue to dwell on those thoughts.

If you're like me, sometimes anxious thoughts and worrying about false realities can keep...

This episode is dedicated to all you out there who are currently in a relationship, and starting to consider if this relationship is no longer healthy for you and if you should leave.

It's a scary place to be in...you've no doubt poured a lot of time, energy, love and effort into making this thing work. He likely showed you a much better version of himself to you at the beginning stages, and it's hard to accept that things have changed, and even harder to understand why they changed.

That's why as a coach, I'll never tell you to leave immediately. Often when we talk to our friends, they think they're doing something good by saying "Just leave him, you deserve so much better!"

And it's true, you do deserve better, but we can't just turn off all the emotions that were built over time. We can't just erase all the good times from our memories. Maybe you've gotten close with his friends or family members. It's complex and messy.

This is why all you really need to do right now, is to...

An avid listener of the Gumball Love Podcast, Jolie reached out to me via email after listening to the episodes describing the different flavors of attention addiction. I was so impressed with how she was able to connect each "flavor" to a real life Gumball Guy she'd met over the course of her 51 first dates, I had to get her on the show!

Yes, after spending 20 years married to the wrong person, Jolie got divorced and set out to go on 50 first dates. Jolie openly shares this journey through her memoir and podcast titled "Fifty First Dates". She's also an author of several other romantic novels. 

This episode is like "casual girl chat meets real coaching session". We totally dig into her current dating situation with a Gumball Guy, and decode his behaviors using the flavors of attention addiction. 

We hear about what patterns she saw after going on so many first dates, how she learned to #filterlikeafreak and not just be open to anyone, what advice she'd...

Wondering if it's time to start working with a dating and relationship coach?

It can be scary investing in coaching. You might be embarrassed that your situation is such a mess, or worry that I'll judge you, or feel weak for asking for help. Trust me, I hold no judgement because all I care about is meeting you where you're at and helping you figure out where to go from here. I love the mess, this is what I was born to do! And asking for help is the strongest thing you can do.

I talked with some of the alumni of my Back to You Academy to see what thoughts were going through their mind when they decided to start coaching with me, and what advice they'd give to another woman considering coaching, but is still unsure.

In this episode, you'll hear:

• What the Back to You Academy Alumni had to say about why they decided to hire a coach, and what they liked about my coaching style specifically
• The difference between coaching and therapy (both complement each other well!)
• How I...

In this episode, I reflect on what I wish I knew earlier on, back in the days when I was totally lost on everything love, dating and relationships. I think back to mistakes I’d made...although I don’t really like to call them mistakes, because I think everything happens for a reason and everything happens in the timing it’s supposed to.

Nevertheless, I have a list of 13 things I did that helped me on the journey of finding my true love. I believe that if I hadn’t done these things, I certainly wouldn’t be able to experience the deeply loving relationship I’m now in, because I wouldn’t know who I am, I wouldn’t love myself, I wouldn’t understand my trauma and how to manage my triggers in a healthy way, and so much more.

Let me know your thoughts and if you can relate! Please share this episode on your social media and tag me so I know if this content is resonating with you.

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I need your help! It's getting soo juicy writing this book, we're really beginning to pull apart the layers and get extra specific about each different type of Gumball Guy and how you can recognize them.

I (and my partner and close friends) re-worked the naming of the different types of Gumball Guys to make it even more clear and I want your feedback!

In this episode I give an overview of all the different "flavors" of Gumball Guys that is (hopefully) more clear and precise than ever before, so PLEASE let me know your feedback!

We especially dive into the red/sex gumball again which is now called Arouse Me and nick-named "The Player". Learn all about the red flags that you're dealing with a player here!

Everyone who has been with me the past few years and replying to my posts in the private Facebook group, and DMing me on Instagram, your stories and thoughts are truly invaluable in helping to shape these concepts. If you think your story should be in this book, I'm open to receiving...

Are you constantly caught up in unrealistic day dreams about a guy you just met or have been talking to for a while?

It's so easy for us to come up with these elaborate romantic scenarios where the bad guy turns into the good guy, or he "saves" you from something, or whatever is yours.

Why do we get so caught up in these stories and become obsessed with the guy so quickly?

Think back to the movies you've watched, the books you've read, and the songs you've grown up with. These depict an unrealistic expectation of romance and love that leads us to float on a fairytale cloud for a while, only to come crashing down when reality hits. 

In this episode, we discuss:

• How media has influenced our perception of love
• How to uncover what your current perception of love is
• Signs you're caught up in an unrealistic fantasy with a Gumball Guy
• What types of things you actually should be fantasizing about
• What to expect from real love

As always, if any of this resonates with you,...

In this episode, I felt called to discuss this urgency around needing to "fix" yourself so you can find the right guy and enter into a healthy relationship. I want to tell you to slow down, because trying to go fast and force it will only make the process longer. 

In this episode, I discuss:

• Why you need to slow down on the urgency to "fix all your issues" and find the guy
• How you don't have to be totally perfect and without insecurities to enter a relationship
• How I handle my personal insecurities when they come up
• Stop idolizing all the couples who appear so perfect and happy on Instagram
• Qualities I've found in the love of my life that make him a great partner, and what makes our relationship great
• Get yourself ready to be able to receive love, but don't rush it. Take your time.

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• The Back to You Academy is officially closed, but you can still work with Melissa one-on-one! Click here to view services or reach out via email: ...