I'm SO excited to be collaborating again with my good friend, mentor, and inspiration in so many ways, Cara Alwill Leyba from The Champagne Diet. Cara is a female empowerment coach, blogger, podcast host, and self-published author of 9 books, including the best seller Girl Code.

Today, on 11/11, and eleven years since she first started this journey with The Champagne Diet blog, she is releasing her 9th book, Girl on Fire: How to choose yourself, burn the rule book, and blaze your own trail in life and business.

I love Cara and her book because unlike a lot of other coaches out there who will tell you they know the best way to do things, Cara inspires you to find YOUR way, to blaze YOUR unique trail and find what lights YOUR fire. She is also extremely relatable, in the sense that she struggled with her weight for years, had deep self-esteem issues, dated guys that were wrong for her, and settled for less.

In this episode, we'll teach you how to identify what self-limiting...

How do you know if he's really falling in love? How do you know if the guy on the other side of the screen is really looking for true connection or if he's full of crap? In this episode, we're talking about how to know if the romance you're experiencing is really built to last for the long term or if it's just a temporary high that will leave and come back again for as long as you allow it.

You can also download and subscribe to this podcast for free on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, or Spotify, or listen on Youtube. 

But first...the self-care tip of the week!

This week, be mindful in noticing what inspires you. What gives you the full-body goosebump chills? What are the simple things that you just LOVE?

When you've been in Gumball Guy relationships and you've only thought about what they want and what they need, you lose who you are. After a relationship like that, finding a hobby feels like a daunting task. In reality, we...

Today I will be announcing a BIG EXCITING announcement about the Back to YOU Academy and membership program!! Listen in for details:D

Also, I'll be addressing an interesting thing a dude said to one of the girls I’m coaching. After a while of fun dates, he expressed that he’s no longer interested, with the reasoning: “I guess I just need the chase.”

The chase.

An ages-old tactic that still makes its way into dating advice articles for some reason. The idea that the woman has to be mysterious, and not give away too much, to keep the guy on the hook so he keeps interested.

But is this tactic legitimate? Let’s stop and REALLY examine this. So often we hear it and we just take it at surface level because we’ve heard it over and over so it becomes just part of the things we “know” until they’re proven wrong (like how we “need” to eat meat to get enough protein).

So when he says he needs the chase, what does that really...

Why do men cheat? The answers to this question that you'll find online or that a cheater will tell you are the biggest lies we are told as women. The answers are made to make us feel as though we are somehow responsible for their behavior and that we have the power to change it.

Cheater/society: "All men cheat."

Mainstream media response: "8 ways to spice up your love life so he doesn't want to cheat!" 

In this episode I'll be referencing the work of therapist Dr. Robert Weiss in his article, 13 Reasons Why Men Cheat and applying the Gumball Love concept so we can understand the difference between the lies and the bad dating advice, and the truth and good dating advice.

You can also download and subscribe to this podcast for free on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, or Spotify, or listen on Youtube.

But first! Self-Care Tip of the Week

Get a facial monthly or quarterly! Facials are a time for relaxation. You get to put the...

Sometimes we'd do more to help our friends than we do to help ourselves. We have the best intentions and think we're helping her get over this jerk guy she's dating, but sometimes we're actually making the process longer for her.

This episode will teach you how to compassionately help your friend (or your daughter, or your mom, whoever!) through this tough time, and might even show you how you can be more compassionate to yourself. I have for you 23 tips and questions to ask that I personally use when I'm coaching my girls, to help her see for herself that he is a jerk. You'll find out why telling her to leave him is NOT effective. 

"The goal of the conversation is never to get her to break up with him. Ever." -Melissa Leger, dating expert and creator of Gumball Love

 You can also download and subscribe to this podcast for free on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, or Spotify, or listen on Youtube.

First! This weeks self care tip:

Book a doctors...

Why do we date the wrong guy over and over again? I've covered a lot in the past about why the bad guys (the Gumball Guys) act the way they do, but it's time to talk about YOU. There's two people involved in these relationships and you're one of them, so what's your part in all of this?

In this podcast episode I will cover 9 reasons why you might be caught in this pattern of always dating bad guys (even when you've spent time in therapy!). By the end of this episode you will have the questions to ask yourself in order to really become self-aware about your behavioral patterns and where they came from. You'll also know how joining the Back to YOU Academy can help you go even deeper on finding the root cause of these behaviors and how to truly heal. 

 You can also download and subscribe to this podcast for free on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, or Spotify, or listen on Youtube.

But first, two self care tips for the week!

1. Block Him

If you've...

Did you know that before you have a one on one coaching session with me, I don't really know exactly what I'm going to say to you?

It's not because I'm not a good relationship coach. That's definitely not how my clients feel, anyway;)

It's because each and every one of my girls is a totally different person with their own story and challenges. I will customize the call to fit your specific needs.

My message to you in this podcast episode is that we often get caught up in the pressure of trying to do things the "right" way and to force a certain timeline in our pursuit of love. But whose right way? Whose timeline?

We are not meant to all be the same. And we're not meant to all find our life partner in the same way and in the same timeframe. 

We ARE all meant to find our purpose, and we can't do that if we continue to put so much pressure and stress on ourselves to be like everyone else or meet everyone else's expectations.

You feel the most alone...

Everyone on this earth is capable of finding real, lasting love, and everyone deserves it. But not everyone knows, REALLY knows and feels in their heart that they deserve it. 

This episode is for YOU if:

• You're always waiting for him to text you back
• You're constantly trying to mold and bend into what you think he wants you to be
• You have trouble relaxing on the date because you're worried about how you look or how you're coming off
• You always feel like you're putting way more effort into communication and plans than he is

You were born fully capable of sending and receiving real love. And somewhere along the way, the difference between real love and Gumball love (attention addiction) got lost. But it's not gone forever. Transformations happen, I see them every day in the women I coach one on one and in the Back to YOU Academy, and you can transform, too.

I'm fired up in this episode (again) but it comes from a place of love. I see your worth and value so...

You can also download and subscribe to this podcast for free on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, or Spotify.

Wow, episode number 40!! Thank you all so much who have been listening from the beginning, and those who have joined along the way. 

In this episode, I get really vulnerable with you. I want to let you in on what I've struggled with along this journey of coaching and sharing the Gumball Love concept.

As a challenge to you AND to myself, we need to start claiming our success. When someone falls in love with us and sees our best qualities, we need to be able to receive that love. 

I let you in on what it was really like for me trying to get this concept of Gumball Love started 10 years ago. It took me a long, long time of fighting my own fears and doubts in order to finally put this idea out there.

And even today, those old feelings of embarrassment creep up--it's hard for me to receive the praise from the girls in the...

Are you ready to date again? You recently got out of a toxic relationship...cheers to you! So how do you know if you're ready to get back into the dating scene or if you should take a break?

We all know that saying..."To get over him you have to get under someone else." Does that really work? It "works" for Gumball People. And you are not a Gumball Person, because you're reading this post!

In this episode I go over why it's important to hold off on dating after a toxic relationship and how to get ready to date again with examples and of course, analogies...you know I love analogies;)

You can also download and subscribe to this podcast for free on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, or Spotify.

Why it's important to wait until you're ready to date again

We underestimate the damage of being in a toxic relationship. Our Gumball ex is that voice of doubt in the back of our minds whenever we do something. Like when you're trying to decide if you should buy a plant or a...