Why are We Attracted to People Who Aren't Good for Us?
We're bringing back my love Iain Roberts for another episode to give his perspective on Gumball Love, and how so many of us became attracted to Gumball People.
When we think about our childhoods and the books we read, the movies we watched, the characters we idolized...a lot of these fantasies weren't very healthy expectations. These expectations are what keeps us in an endless cycle, but we're so IN it that we can't always objectively see the behavior patterns.
That's what the Gumball Love Assessment and "Level Up for Love" coaching package is for! We talk all about the assessment and coaching package in this episode as well and exactly what to expect and how it can help you.
Those who sign up for the Level Up for Love 4-session coaching package get exclusive access to the assessment right now!
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Live Guest Coaching: There Was So Much Chemistry, What Happened?
On this episode we bring on Khyara, a listener of the podcast, for a LIVE hot seat coaching session
Khyara was dating a guy for a month and a half and things were going well, there was a lot of sexual chemistry, until things started feeling..off.
At a time when Khyara really emotionally needed him, he dropped the ball. Plus, he stopped prioritizing time for them to hang out.
Tune in as Melissa and Khyara break down what happened using Khyara’s quiz results to see which flavors of attention this guy craved.
If you’ve been wondering what a coaching session is like, here’s your chance to get a taste!
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Book a call with Melissa: https://melissa-leger.mykajabi.com/workwithme
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When Should You Have Sex with Him?
You're having a fun night on a date, or maybe a night out, and it's come to that moment when you're wondering whether you should go back to his place or have him come back to yours for sex or not.
While I can't make this decision for you and would never try to, I do want to give you a few questions to ask yourself before making the decision and to really think about.
We'll also talk about the real reason why guys ghost after sex-- it's often not having anything to do with you, and everything to do with them.
Work with Melissa
Book a call with Melissa: https://melissa-leger.mykajabi.com/workwithme
Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/850443405065504
Follow Melissa on Instagram: @themelissaleger
What Men Want: Why Most Dating Advice is Crap
Enter the search term "dating advice" on Google or Youtube and you're bound to come across listicles or videos with titles like "10 Things You're Doing that are Turning Men Off" or "The Number One Mistake Women Make in Dating".
From this day forward, I want you to STOP consuming content like this. It's crap!!
1. You're never gonna find the holy grail of "what men want" because all men are DIFFERENT just like all women are different
2. This type of advice does not teach you how to have a deep, intimate relationship..it teaches you how to catch the attention of shallow men
3. The pick up artists who sell this advice never speak from personal experience and are almost never in successful, healthy relationships themselves.
Forget it all!! In this episode, I break down how to discern the crap advice from the credible advice that actually helps you find true, committed love.
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Does He Have the Capacity to Love?
When we've dated Gumball Guys in the past, often it's daunting and scary to get back into dating because we've been burned before. We're a bit jaded and skeptical that all guys are jerks.
Well, hindsight is always 20/20, but we can try some things during the dating stage to test the waters and see if he's really ready for love and commitment.
Junk "dating advice" will give you a lot of short-term strategies for getting a Gumball Guy. Well, ya got him..and now you wish you never met him. This episode is about LONG-TERM..how to actually find the right guy for you, who will be someone you can lean on in tough times, a teammate to take on life together.
Tune in to this episode to find out what type of inner work you should be doing to see if you are ready for love, as well as what you should be looking out for in a guy to see if he has the capacity to love as well.
Resources Mentioned
How to Do the Work by Nicole LePera
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What Does it Really Mean to be "Ready for Love"?
How do you know if you are "ready for love"? The depiction of love and romance in Hollywood movies certainly sets the wrong expectations for us around what healthy love, dating and relationships look like. After many years of dating and relationships, learning from the mistakes, and finally meeting the love of my life at age 43, I share how I knew I was ready for love.
Below are some key questions to ask yourself:
- What's the intention behind you dating right now? Is it out of boredom or loneliness? Or pressure from friends and family?
- Are you happy and fulfilled in your life right now?
- Are you who you truly want to be? Are you embodying the best version of yourself?
- What exactly are you looking for in a partner? What do you want and need?
Resources Mentioned
How to Do the Work by Nicole LePera
Work with Melissa
Book a call with Melissa: https://melissa-leger.mykajabi.com/workwithme
Join the VIP Private Facebook Group: ...
How to Break Free from Toxic Thought Patterns
You may have heard someone say at some point in your life, "thoughts are things."
This saying took on a whole new meaning for me after listening to The Ed Mylette Show episode with Dr. Caroline Leaf. Dr. Caroline Leaf is a neuroscientist, mental health and mind expert and if you're not following her on Instagram...what are you doing!!
I'm already a huge fan of her work but the way she just explained this concept about thoughts really blew my mind and I had to hop on the mic and share with you guys!
Basically, when we are thinking, you can actually SEE with a microscope something physically forming in the brain. And it looks like a tree! The thought starts, and that's the trunk of the tree, then as you think more thoughts related to that, the trunk grows branches, and the branches grow leaves.
AND..the trees can shrink and disappear as you don't continue to dwell on those thoughts.
If you're like me, sometimes anxious thoughts and worrying about false realities can keep...
Should You Leave Him?
This episode is dedicated to all you out there who are currently in a relationship, and starting to consider if this relationship is no longer healthy for you and if you should leave.
It's a scary place to be in...you've no doubt poured a lot of time, energy, love and effort into making this thing work. He likely showed you a much better version of himself to you at the beginning stages, and it's hard to accept that things have changed, and even harder to understand why they changed.
That's why as a coach, I'll never tell you to leave immediately. Often when we talk to our friends, they think they're doing something good by saying "Just leave him, you deserve so much better!"
And it's true, you do deserve better, but we can't just turn off all the emotions that were built over time. We can't just erase all the good times from our memories. Maybe you've gotten close with his friends or family members. It's complex and messy.
This is why all you really need to do right now, is to...
Lessons Learned after 51 First Dates with Romance Novel Author Jolie Moore
An avid listener of the Gumball Love Podcast, Jolie reached out to me via email after listening to the episodes describing the different flavors of attention addiction. I was so impressed with how she was able to connect each "flavor" to a real life Gumball Guy she'd met over the course of her 51 first dates, I had to get her on the show!
Yes, after spending 20 years married to the wrong person, Jolie got divorced and set out to go on 50 first dates. Jolie openly shares this journey through her memoir and podcast titled "Fifty First Dates". She's also an author of several other romantic novels.
This episode is like "casual girl chat meets real coaching session". We totally dig into her current dating situation with a Gumball Guy, and decode his behaviors using the flavors of attention addiction.
We hear about what patterns she saw after going on so many first dates, how she learned to #filterlikeafreak and not just be open to anyone, what advice she'd...
Is It Time to Hire a Dating & Relationship Coach?
Wondering if it's time to start working with a dating and relationship coach?
It can be scary investing in coaching. You might be embarrassed that your situation is such a mess, or worry that I'll judge you, or feel weak for asking for help. Trust me, I hold no judgement because all I care about is meeting you where you're at and helping you figure out where to go from here. I love the mess, this is what I was born to do! And asking for help is the strongest thing you can do.
I talked with some of the alumni of my Back to You Academy to see what thoughts were going through their mind when they decided to start coaching with me, and what advice they'd give to another woman considering coaching, but is still unsure.
In this episode, you'll hear:
- What the Back to You Academy Alumni had to say about why they decided to hire a coach, and what they liked about my coaching style specifically
- The difference between coaching and therapy (both complement each other well!)
- How I...
