After going through a traumatic relationship, divorce, or breakup, it can be really hard to keep having hope that things will get better and everything will work out in the end. How do we not lose hope after getting beat down?
When we have a physical injury, it's clear that we need to take rest and heal. However, when it's an emotional wound, somehow there's this expectation to "move on quickly" and "bounce back."
As we know, it's not that simple. And there are some key things we need to understand before we're truly able to move on and break free. In this podcast episode, I talk about what steps you need to take after a traumatic breakup in order to heal and not lose hope.
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If you are currently considering leaving your marriage, going through a divorce, or wondering how to get back into dating after divorce, you're gonna want to listen to this episode for some serious inspiration!
Soni Pelty got married at age 19 through an arranged marriage, as is custom in her Indian heritage.
Things seemed fine the first couple months, until she discovered her husband's porn addiction.
After 22 years of dealing with this addiction, physical and emotional abuse, and fighting, Soni finally got the strength to leave the marriage after some wise words from her then 15 year old son.
In her 40's and getting back into the dating game, Soni went on 300..yes, 300 dates!! With very clear intentions about what she wanted, until she finally found the man of her dreams and got remarried!
But it wasn't just about finding the man. The most important part for Soni was finding herself and realizing her worth. Now, she helps other women do the same as a...
I'm back after a podcasting hiatus! 2020 has been full of twists and turns as we all know, and I wanted to give you the full rundown on what's been going on in my life behind the scenes. In this episode of Gumball Love I spill all the details on finding the love of my life, moving out of my beloved home of New York City, and the exciting new direction Gumball Love is heading!
We're also really going to dig into a common topic I hear from many of you in the Private Facebook group. Which is, when you feel like you're doing everything right, you're implementing the advice I'm giving you...and yet, you're still not finding love.
We examine the common beliefs and conditioning you may have that are standing in your way of you finding love, and how to rework these beliefs, decondition and shift your mindset, so you can make space for sustainable love!
Why do we date the wrong guy over and over again? I've covered a lot in the past about why the bad guys (the Gumball Guys) act the way they do, but it's time to talk about YOU. There's two people involved in these relationships and you're one of them, so what's your part in all of this?
In this podcast episode I will cover 9 reasons why you might be caught in this pattern of always dating bad guys (even when you've spent time in therapy!). By the end of this episode you will have the questions to ask yourself in order to really become self-aware about your behavioral patterns and where they came from. You'll also know how joining the Back to YOU Academy can help you go even deeper on finding the root cause of these behaviors and how to truly heal.
1. Block Him
Did you know that before you have a one on one coaching session with me, I don't really know exactly what I'm going to say to you?
It's because each and every one of my girls is a totally different person with their own story and challenges. I will customize the call to fit your specific needs.
My message to you in this podcast episode is that we often get caught up in the pressure of trying to do things the "right" way and to force a certain timeline in our pursuit of love. But whose right way? Whose timeline?
We are not meant to all be the same. And we're not meant to all find our life partner in the same way and in the same timeframe.
We ARE all meant to find our purpose, and we can't do that if we continue to put so much pressure and stress on ourselves to be like everyone else or meet everyone else's expectations.
You feel the most alone...
Everyone on this earth is capable of finding real, lasting love, and everyone deserves it. But not everyone knows, REALLY knows and feels in their heart that they deserve it.
This episode is for YOU if:
You were born fully capable of sending and receiving real love. And somewhere along the way, the difference between real love and Gumball love (attention addiction) got lost. But it's not gone forever. Transformations happen, I see them every day in the women I coach one on one and in the Back to YOU Academy, and you can transform, too.
I'm fired up in this episode (again) but it comes from a place of love. I see your worth and value so...
Are you confident in being able to distinguish between a good guy and a Gumball Guy on your own? How long does it take you to determine he's not the right one? After this podcast, you'll have a bloodhound nose for sniffing out the bad guys quickly just like me (I just got a puppy so my mind is SO on dogs!!).
If you've been following this podcast for a while, chances are by now you've come to terms with the fact that your ex was a Gumball Guy, or the guy you're dating now is a Gumball Guy (and if not, go back to the beginning!) :)
But now, as you enter back into the dating scene, you might find it difficult to trust your own judgement. You might have a hunch this guy is a Gumball Guy but you're second-guessing yourself. And the longer you are not sure and continue to feel him out, the more time you're wasting, and the more danger you're in of really falling for a Gumball Guy again.
I bet you're saying, "Melissa! I wish you could be sitting at the next table in a disguise...
The Cosmo magazines of the world will tell you you're being ghosted because you're too clingy, or revealing emotions too soon. Guys will tell you they just forgot or don't like to be on their phone all the time. But is that really the case, or is there a deeper, more psychological reason?
A guy from an online dating app texts you, "Hey, what's up." You continue on with a shallow text conversation for a while and finally ask..."Should we meet up?" Suddenly, he becomes the busiest guy in the world and can't find any time to pencil you in but keeps promising you'll meet up some vague time in the future.
By the end of this episode you will know why he does this, why it has nothing to do with you, and you will understand the true pain behind his shallow, distant texts. You will be able to separate his behavior from your self worth.
In this episode, I cover:
Wow, episode number 40!! Thank you all so much who have been listening from the beginning, and those who have joined along the way.
In this episode, I get really vulnerable with you. I want to let you in on what I've struggled with along this journey of coaching and sharing the Gumball Love concept.
As a challenge to you AND to myself, we need to start claiming our success. When someone falls in love with us and sees our best qualities, we need to be able to receive that love.
I let you in on what it was really like for me trying to get this concept of Gumball Love started 10 years ago. It took me a long, long time of fighting my own fears and doubts in order to finally put this idea out there.
And even today, those old feelings of embarrassment creep up--it's hard for me to receive the praise from the girls in the...
One of the girls in the Back to YOU Academy had an amazing revelation that I HAD to share with you (without sharing her name, of course!).
She was about to be going on a date with someone she met online.
And thought, as she was doing the make-up, the hair, choosing the right dress..."Who am I really getting ready for? Why am I dressing up and putting in all this effort for these guys who I don't even know?"
She is still healing from a past relationship and hasn't really gotten to a place yet where she knows who she is and is comfortable in her own skin.
She realized these dates are just a momentary escape that don't really serve her.
She was molding into whatever these guys wanted her to be, and not truly just being herself..because she doesn't know who that is. YET.
The real person you need to be dating right now is in the mirror.
So that eventually, when...