We've all been there...you're texting back and forth with a guy, and the responses are pretty quick in the beginning, everything is exciting, you're getting the butterflies....and gradually, the responses get slower and slower to be returned (or, it's very sudden that he's taking so long to reply).
You start to freak out, thinking he's not interested in you, he's texting another girl, or whatever else our creative minds think up! Your natural response may be to scold him and educate him on how he should be responding, but I want you to consider a different approach.
In this episode, I walk you through the reasons why he may not be texting back right away, why you shouldn't freak out and start imagining worse case scenarios, why you should just wait it out, and what it looks like when you're texting a healthy guy.
In this episode I'll be answering a listener question: How will I know if he's the right guy? She also feared that she may have so much self worth and love that no guy will ever be good enough for her. So if you've asked yourself similar questions, you'll want to tune in to this episode!
There are tons of "lists" out there that you'll find on Buzzfeed or wherever, but you know I always say there are no hard and fast "rules" in love, or one size fits all. So, this is a list of some simple things to look out for and what I've personally experienced after dating many guys who were definitely NOT the right one, and finally finding the guy who is.
I also discuss how to be supportive and compassionate, without playing the role of his therapist and trying to help him heal when it's too big for you to handle (because you're not his therapist!!).
1. You're having fun with them all the time. Even the moments in life that are...
The Cosmo magazines of the world will tell you you're being ghosted because you're too clingy, or revealing emotions too soon. Guys will tell you they just forgot or don't like to be on their phone all the time. But is that really the case, or is there a deeper, more psychological reason?
A guy from an online dating app texts you, "Hey, what's up." You continue on with a shallow text conversation for a while and finally ask..."Should we meet up?" Suddenly, he becomes the busiest guy in the world and can't find any time to pencil you in but keeps promising you'll meet up some vague time in the future.
By the end of this episode you will know why he does this, why it has nothing to do with you, and you will understand the true pain behind his shallow, distant texts. You will be able to separate his behavior from your self worth.
In this episode, I cover:
One of the girls in the Back to YOU Academy had an amazing revelation that I HAD to share with you (without sharing her name, of course!).
She was about to be going on a date with someone she met online.
And thought, as she was doing the make-up, the hair, choosing the right dress..."Who am I really getting ready for? Why am I dressing up and putting in all this effort for these guys who I don't even know?"
She is still healing from a past relationship and hasn't really gotten to a place yet where she knows who she is and is comfortable in her own skin.
She realized these dates are just a momentary escape that don't really serve her.
She was molding into whatever these guys wanted her to be, and not truly just being herself..because she doesn't know who that is. YET.
The real person you need to be dating right now is in the mirror.
So that eventually, when...
After losing 40 LBS and fresh Spring Weather in NYC, I was ready to start online dating again. I tried Match.com, Elite Singles and Inner Circle. The experience was shocking to say the least as even in New York City with so many options, the filtering process was much more than I expected.