Does He Have Ambivalent Attachment Style?

attachment styles Jun 20, 2022

You've likely heard of the three attachment styles: secure, anxious, and avoidant, but we don't hear enough about the fourth: Ambivalent Attachment.

If your guy seems really intense in the beginning, pursuing you, showering you with love and gifts, but then can turn cold on a dime or seems really needy, but like whatever you give him is never enough...he likely has ambivalent attachment style. 

Tune in to learn:

  • What ambivalent attachment style is and what causes it
  • Examples and red flags of this attachment style
  • Why you might fall for someone with this attachment style
  • Your own work you need to do

Work with Melissa

Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? If you're tired of being the only person in your friend group who's not in a healthy, happy relationship, I can help you! Here's how:

  • The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and...

He's a Nice Guy, But Is He The One?

This episode was inspired by a listener who messaged me about her situation. She says the guy is not a Gumball Guy, he's nice and he loves her, but there's other issues...she noticed he has anxious attachment style and has been unwilling to get the help he needs, their core values are misaligned, and their levels of motivation and work ethic are different. 

She's wondering if it's worth it to stick with him, or if he's not the one.

I share in this episode what questions to ask yourself to know if you should continue dating someone, even if they're not a Gumball Guy, or if it's best to move on.

If you're stuck in this situation, I can help!

Work with Melissa

Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? If you're tired of being the only person in your friend group who's not in a healthy, happy relationship, I can help you! Here's how:


Why are We Attracted to People Who Aren't Good for Us?

We're bringing back my love Iain Roberts for another episode to give his perspective on Gumball Love, and how so many of us became attracted to Gumball People.

When we think about our childhoods and the books we read, the movies we watched, the characters we idolized...a lot of these fantasies weren't very healthy expectations. These expectations are what keeps us in an endless cycle, but we're so IN it that we can't always objectively see the behavior patterns.

That's what the Gumball Love Assessment and "Level Up for Love" coaching package is for! We talk all about the assessment and coaching package in this episode as well and exactly what to expect and how it can help you.

Those who sign up for the Level Up for Love 4-session coaching package get exclusive access to the assessment right now!

Work with Melissa

Book a call with Melissa:

Join the VIP Private Facebook Group:



Is it Anxiety or Gut Instinct?

attachment styles Nov 22, 2021

Wondering how to tell the difference between anxiety, your gut instinct, and anxious attachment style? This episode is for you!

Often times our gut instinct is SPOT ON...telling us to GTFO of a sketchy situation or to not go on the date with that guy. But sometimes, our anxiety or anxious attachment style overruns our instincts. 

Our anxious feelings are often coming from past lived experience, and it's our body's way of warning us and trying to keep us safe. But sometimes it's just that..PAST experience, not something currently happening in reality, meaning we could be missing out on a good, genuine guy.

I have anxious attachment style and anxiety, and I was VERY anxious about my love in the beginning, and it makes me sick to think I could have lost this love if I didn't get a grip and understand the difference between my anxiety and my gut instinct, and to also learn how to cope with my anxiety and how to make myself feel safe.

In this episode, we'll cover:

  • What is anxious...

Do You Have an Anxious Attachment Style in Relationships?

"My longterm mission is to help as many people as possible get healthy themselves, find healthy partners, and have healthy children." -Melissa Leger

"How you formed an attachment to your caregivers in infancy often sets the tone for how you experience your adult relationships.

If your parents were slow or inconsistent with tending to your needs, you might have become anxiously attached.

When you’re an adult, you may subconsciously repeat similar behaviors you experienced in childhood, in your romantic relationships." Source.

We can talk about avoiding red flags and Gumball Guys, but when it comes to actually being in a healthy relationship and being attracted to a healthy relationship, I want to bring to your attention that you may have anxiety around the actual attachment part.

We don't have to be perfect and totally secure before entering a relationship, but it's important to become aware of your attachment style so that you can sooth yourself and know what...


50% Complete

Two Step

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.