About Melissa
I spent years trying to figure out why love seemed to happen for everyone but me.
My friends got married. They had kids. Their lives seemed to be moving forward.
And I felt behind.
So I did what I do when I can’t figure something out.
I read the relationship books. Took the courses. Went to therapy. Studied men. Studied dating. Studied myself.
I knew how to make myself valuable. I could understand him. Anticipate him. Support him. Soothe him. Fix things. Adjust.
But I was so focused on his experience of me, I wasn’t paying enough attention to my experience of him.
The pattern I couldn’t see
I thought all that effort was intimacy.
It was transaction.
Was I happy? Did I feel safe being fully myself? Did I actually like the relationship I was working so hard to keep?
My story, continued
I stopped making relationships my job.
I started investing in myself.
I became less interested in whether I could make something work and more interested in whether it actually worked for me.
I started helping other women find love.
And, ironically, that happened before I did.
And then, my own story continued.
My engagement to Iain, followed by our wedding.
Our wedding.
My wedding, in photographs.
