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Are You Giving Too Much to the Wrong People?

boundaries self love Jan 24, 2021

"Boundaries" seems to be quite a buzzword these days, but I know it's something we all struggle with and it can be very misunderstood, so we're going to break it down here! 

When we hear "boundaries", what often comes to mind is the image of cutting out every unhealthy person in your life, which can seem quite daunting and scary.

Cutting people out of your life can be part of creating boundaries, but this is just the surface. There's much more work to be done beneath the surface, but it's so worth it! After you do this work, you will feel calm and confident about your boundaries, rather than frantic and insecure.

Creating boundaries in your life is lifelong a process. A process of recognizing where and with who there is pain and friction in your life, grieving what you wanted but which cannot be, recognizing what YOU can do (not telling the other person what they should or shouldn't do), and LOVING YOURSELF through the mistakes.

Yes, you are human, so you will make mistakes in...

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Soni Pelty Left an Abusive Marriage, Discovered Herself, and Found Real Love

If you are currently considering leaving your marriage, going through a divorce, or wondering how to get back into dating after divorce, you're gonna want to listen to this episode for some serious inspiration!

Soni Pelty got married at age 19 through an arranged marriage, as is custom in her Indian heritage. 

Things seemed fine the first couple months, until she discovered her husband's porn addiction.

After 22 years of dealing with this addiction, physical and emotional abuse, and fighting, Soni finally got the strength to leave the marriage after some wise words from her then 15 year old son. 

In her 40's and getting back into the dating game, Soni went on 300..yes, 300 dates!! With very clear intentions about what she wanted, until she finally found the man of her dreams and got remarried! 

But it wasn't just about finding the man. The most important part for Soni was finding herself and realizing her worth. Now, she helps other women do the same as a...

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Will he complete me? Finding what makes YOUR heart sing

Are you sitting there, waiting to find someone to "complete" you?

Do you feel like your life won't really begin, or you can't let it begin, without finding "The One"?

Are you feeling purposeless and unfulfilled in your life, and thinking if you could just find the guy, things would finally all fall into place and you'll be happy?

Then you NEED to hear this episode my girl!!

Unfortunately, Hollywood gives us this perception that we are all incomplete people, and we need to find the one who will complete us and we'll ride happily into the sunset. 

It's a lie. We must first learn to see ourselves as complete, and love ourselves just as we are right now. We must focus on fulfilling our own lives and stop waiting for the guy.

In this episode, I dive into how you can start finding fulfillment in your life while you are single, and really enjoy the single phase. 

I also discuss:

  • How Gumball Love became my calling..I didn't just stumble onto it and I didn't always know that this...
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I'm doing everything right...where is he?!

I'm back after a podcasting hiatus! 2020 has been full of twists and turns as we all know, and I wanted to give you the full rundown on what's been going on in my life behind the scenes. In this episode of Gumball Love I spill all the details on finding the love of my life, moving out of my beloved home of New York City, and the exciting new direction Gumball Love is heading!

We're also really going to dig into a common topic I hear from many of you in the Private Facebook group. Which is, when you feel like you're doing everything right, you're implementing the advice I'm giving you...and yet, you're still not finding love.

We examine the common beliefs and conditioning you may have that are standing in your way of you finding love, and how to rework these beliefs, decondition and shift your mindset, so you can make space for sustainable love!

Are you holding on to any of these beliefs?:

  • "I'm so dumb for staying with that last Gumball Guy."
  • "I'm running...
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Girl on Fire with Cara Alwill Leyba

I'm SO excited to be collaborating again with my good friend, mentor, and inspiration in so many ways, Cara Alwill Leyba from The Champagne Diet. Cara is a female empowerment coach, blogger, podcast host, and self-published author of 9 books, including the best seller Girl Code.

Today, on 11/11, and eleven years since she first started this journey with The Champagne Diet blog, she is releasing her 9th book, Girl on Fire: How to choose yourself, burn the rule book, and blaze your own trail in life and business.

I love Cara and her book because unlike a lot of other coaches out there who will tell you they know the best way to do things, Cara inspires you to find YOUR way, to blaze YOUR unique trail and find what lights YOUR fire. She is also extremely relatable, in the sense that she struggled with her weight for years, had deep self-esteem issues, dated guys that were wrong for her, and settled for less.

In this episode, we'll teach you how to identify what self-limiting...

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Is He Falling in Love or Full of BS? [Podcast EP 52]

How do you know if he's really falling in love? How do you know if the guy on the other side of the screen is really looking for true connection or if he's full of crap? In this episode, we're talking about how to know if the romance you're experiencing is really built to last for the long term or if it's just a temporary high that will leave and come back again for as long as you allow it.

You can also download and subscribe to this podcast for free on Apple PodcastsGoogle Podcasts, or Spotify, or listen on Youtube


But first...the self-care tip of the week!

This week, be mindful in noticing what inspires you. What gives you the full-body goosebump chills? What are the simple things that you just LOVE?

When you've been in Gumball Guy relationships and you've only thought about what they want and what they need, you lose who you are. After a relationship like that, finding a hobby feels like a daunting task. In reality, we...

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Does He Need the Chase? (And big announcement!!) [Podcast EP 51]

Today I will be announcing a BIG EXCITING announcement about the Back to YOU Academy and membership program!! Listen in for details:D

Also, I'll be addressing an interesting thing a dude said to one of the girls I’m coaching. After a while of fun dates, he expressed that he’s no longer interested, with the reasoning: “I guess I just need the chase.”

The chase.

An ages-old tactic that still makes its way into dating advice articles for some reason. The idea that the woman has to be mysterious, and not give away too much, to keep the guy on the hook so he keeps interested.

But is this tactic legitimate? Let’s stop and REALLY examine this. So often we hear it and we just take it at surface level because we’ve heard it over and over so it becomes just part of the things we “know” until they’re proven wrong (like how we “need” to eat meat to get enough protein).

So when he says he needs the chase, what does that really...

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Why do we always attract the wrong guy? [Podcast EP 48]

Why do we date the wrong guy over and over again? I've covered a lot in the past about why the bad guys (the Gumball Guys) act the way they do, but it's time to talk about YOU. There's two people involved in these relationships and you're one of them, so what's your part in all of this?

In this podcast episode I will cover 9 reasons why you might be caught in this pattern of always dating bad guys (even when you've spent time in therapy!). By the end of this episode you will have the questions to ask yourself in order to really become self-aware about your behavioral patterns and where they came from. You'll also know how joining the Back to YOU Academy can help you go even deeper on finding the root cause of these behaviors and how to truly heal. 

 You can also download and subscribe to this podcast for free on Apple PodcastsGoogle Podcasts, or Spotify, or listen on Youtube.


But first, two self care tips for the week!

1. Block Him

If you've...

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Are You Forcing Yourself to Be Someone You're Not? [Podcast EP 47]

Did you know that before you have a one on one coaching session with me, I don't really know exactly what I'm going to say to you?

It's not because I'm not a good relationship coach. That's definitely not how my clients feel, anyway;)

It's because each and every one of my girls is a totally different person with their own story and challenges. I will customize the call to fit your specific needs.

My message to you in this podcast episode is that we often get caught up in the pressure of trying to do things the "right" way and to force a certain timeline in our pursuit of love. But whose right way? Whose timeline?

We are not meant to all be the same. And we're not meant to all find our life partner in the same way and in the same timeframe. 

We ARE all meant to find our purpose, and we can't do that if we continue to put so much pressure and stress on ourselves to be like everyone else or meet everyone else's expectations.

You feel the most alone...

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How to set boundaries in relationships [Podcast EP 44]

Healthy boundaries are becoming more and more of a popular topic these days. If you didn't grow up in a family with healthy boundaries (and many of us didn't) you wouldn't even know what boundaries look like or that you could have them.

Having boundaries is important because it preserves our energy. If you're constantly letting people in who suck away your energy, you will be left totally empty, exhausted, and unable to operate at your highest frequency. The world needs your light and your energy, so let's get this sorted!

In this podcast episode we'll cover:

  • How to know what your boundaries are
  • Why setting boundaries is important
  • Why we often avoid setting boundaries
  • What happens if you don't set boundaries
  • How to sort out which people in your life are crossing your boundaries
  • What it feels like and looks like to set boundaries (examples)

You can also download and subscribe to this podcast for free on Apple PodcastsGoogle Podcasts, ...

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