LISTEN TO THE LATEST GUMBALL LOVE PODCAST EPISODE ▷

How will I know if he's the right guy?

In this episode I'll be answering a listener question: How will I know if he's the right guy? She also feared that she may have so much self worth and love that no guy will ever be good enough for her. So if you've asked yourself similar questions, you'll want to tune in to this episode!

There are tons of "lists" out there that you'll find on Buzzfeed or wherever, but you know I always say there are no hard and fast "rules" in love, or one size fits all. So, this is a list of some simple things to look out for and what I've personally experienced after dating many guys who were definitely NOT the right one, and finally finding the guy who is. 

I also discuss how to be supportive and compassionate, without playing the role of his therapist and trying to help him heal when it's too big for you to handle (because you're not his therapist!!). 

The top three things are:

1. You're having fun with them all the time. Even the moments in life that are...

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Is Your Ex Still in Your Head?

Are you carrying around the weight of how your ex made you feel not good enough, into new relationships? Or maybe it's even affecting relationships with friends, family, or your work life. Don't beat yourself up about it or carry shame around about it!

"You're still gonna miss a guy that treated you poorly. It's part of the process."

You have so much love to give, and yet when you try to give this love, the men you're with question it. They doubt you and your love. Which gets into your head, and now you're questioning your own worth and value.

Now, when you try to date or get into a new relationship, you're questioning everything you say and do, and analyzing everything he says about you. It's exhausting.

The message I want to get across in this episode is that:

  1. These men are insecure, so they try to dim your light to make themselves feel better
  2. We all come from messy backgrounds, many of us didn't receive healthy love with our parents, so we need to do our own work to heal...
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I'm doing everything right...where is he?!

I'm back after a podcasting hiatus! 2020 has been full of twists and turns as we all know, and I wanted to give you the full rundown on what's been going on in my life behind the scenes. In this episode of Gumball Love I spill all the details on finding the love of my life, moving out of my beloved home of New York City, and the exciting new direction Gumball Love is heading!

We're also really going to dig into a common topic I hear from many of you in the Private Facebook group. Which is, when you feel like you're doing everything right, you're implementing the advice I'm giving you...and yet, you're still not finding love.

We examine the common beliefs and conditioning you may have that are standing in your way of you finding love, and how to rework these beliefs, decondition and shift your mindset, so you can make space for sustainable love!

Are you holding on to any of these beliefs?:

  • "I'm so dumb for staying with that last Gumball Guy."
  • "I'm running...
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Girl on Fire with Cara Alwill Leyba

I'm SO excited to be collaborating again with my good friend, mentor, and inspiration in so many ways, Cara Alwill Leyba from The Champagne Diet. Cara is a female empowerment coach, blogger, podcast host, and self-published author of 9 books, including the best seller Girl Code.

Today, on 11/11, and eleven years since she first started this journey with The Champagne Diet blog, she is releasing her 9th book, Girl on Fire: How to choose yourself, burn the rule book, and blaze your own trail in life and business.

I love Cara and her book because unlike a lot of other coaches out there who will tell you they know the best way to do things, Cara inspires you to find YOUR way, to blaze YOUR unique trail and find what lights YOUR fire. She is also extremely relatable, in the sense that she struggled with her weight for years, had deep self-esteem issues, dated guys that were wrong for her, and settled for less.

In this episode, we'll teach you how to identify what self-limiting...

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Is He Falling in Love or Full of BS? [Podcast EP 52]

How do you know if he's really falling in love? How do you know if the guy on the other side of the screen is really looking for true connection or if he's full of crap? In this episode, we're talking about how to know if the romance you're experiencing is really built to last for the long term or if it's just a temporary high that will leave and come back again for as long as you allow it.

You can also download and subscribe to this podcast for free on Apple PodcastsGoogle Podcasts, or Spotify, or listen on Youtube


But first...the self-care tip of the week!

This week, be mindful in noticing what inspires you. What gives you the full-body goosebump chills? What are the simple things that you just LOVE?

When you've been in Gumball Guy relationships and you've only thought about what they want and what they need, you lose who you are. After a relationship like that, finding a hobby feels like a daunting task. In reality, we...

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Does He Need the Chase? (And big announcement!!) [Podcast EP 51]

Today I will be announcing a BIG EXCITING announcement about the Back to YOU Academy and membership program!! Listen in for details:D

Also, I'll be addressing an interesting thing a dude said to one of the girls I’m coaching. After a while of fun dates, he expressed that he’s no longer interested, with the reasoning: “I guess I just need the chase.”

The chase.

An ages-old tactic that still makes its way into dating advice articles for some reason. The idea that the woman has to be mysterious, and not give away too much, to keep the guy on the hook so he keeps interested.

But is this tactic legitimate? Let’s stop and REALLY examine this. So often we hear it and we just take it at surface level because we’ve heard it over and over so it becomes just part of the things we “know” until they’re proven wrong (like how we “need” to eat meat to get enough protein).

So when he says he needs the chase, what does that really...

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The Biggest Lie We're Told As Women [Podcast EP 50]

Why do men cheat? The answers to this question that you'll find online or that a cheater will tell you are the biggest lies we are told as women. The answers are made to make us feel as though we are somehow responsible for their behavior and that we have the power to change it.

Cheater/society: "All men cheat."

Mainstream media response: "8 ways to spice up your love life so he doesn't want to cheat!" 

In this episode I'll be referencing the work of therapist Dr. Robert Weiss in his article, 13 Reasons Why Men Cheat and applying the Gumball Love concept so we can understand the difference between the lies and the bad dating advice, and the truth and good dating advice.

 

You can also download and subscribe to this podcast for free on Apple PodcastsGoogle Podcasts, or Spotify, or listen on Youtube.


But first! Self-Care Tip of the Week

Get a facial monthly or quarterly! Facials are a time for relaxation. You get to put the...

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My friend is dating a jerk, how can I help her? [Podcast EP 49]

Sometimes we'd do more to help our friends than we do to help ourselves. We have the best intentions and think we're helping her get over this jerk guy she's dating, but sometimes we're actually making the process longer for her.

This episode will teach you how to compassionately help your friend (or your daughter, or your mom, whoever!) through this tough time, and might even show you how you can be more compassionate to yourself. I have for you 23 tips and questions to ask that I personally use when I'm coaching my girls, to help her see for herself that he is a jerk. You'll find out why telling her to leave him is NOT effective. 

"The goal of the conversation is never to get her to break up with him. Ever." -Melissa Leger, dating expert and creator of Gumball Love

 You can also download and subscribe to this podcast for free on Apple PodcastsGoogle Podcasts, or Spotify, or listen on Youtube.


First! This weeks self care tip:

Book a doctors...

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Why do we always attract the wrong guy? [Podcast EP 48]

Why do we date the wrong guy over and over again? I've covered a lot in the past about why the bad guys (the Gumball Guys) act the way they do, but it's time to talk about YOU. There's two people involved in these relationships and you're one of them, so what's your part in all of this?

In this podcast episode I will cover 9 reasons why you might be caught in this pattern of always dating bad guys (even when you've spent time in therapy!). By the end of this episode you will have the questions to ask yourself in order to really become self-aware about your behavioral patterns and where they came from. You'll also know how joining the Back to YOU Academy can help you go even deeper on finding the root cause of these behaviors and how to truly heal. 

 You can also download and subscribe to this podcast for free on Apple PodcastsGoogle Podcasts, or Spotify, or listen on Youtube.


But first, two self care tips for the week!

1. Block Him

If you've...

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Are You Forcing Yourself to Be Someone You're Not? [Podcast EP 47]

Did you know that before you have a one on one coaching session with me, I don't really know exactly what I'm going to say to you?

It's not because I'm not a good relationship coach. That's definitely not how my clients feel, anyway;)

It's because each and every one of my girls is a totally different person with their own story and challenges. I will customize the call to fit your specific needs.

My message to you in this podcast episode is that we often get caught up in the pressure of trying to do things the "right" way and to force a certain timeline in our pursuit of love. But whose right way? Whose timeline?

We are not meant to all be the same. And we're not meant to all find our life partner in the same way and in the same timeframe. 

We ARE all meant to find our purpose, and we can't do that if we continue to put so much pressure and stress on ourselves to be like everyone else or meet everyone else's expectations.

You feel the most alone...

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