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Why isn't he texting back?

We've all been there...you're texting back and forth with a guy, and the responses are pretty quick in the beginning, everything is exciting, you're getting the butterflies....and gradually, the responses get slower and slower to be returned (or, it's very sudden that he's taking so long to reply).

You start to freak out, thinking he's not interested in you, he's texting another girl, or whatever else our creative minds think up! Your natural response may be to scold him and educate him on how he should be responding, but I want you to consider a different approach.

In this episode, I walk you through the reasons why he may not be texting back right away, why you shouldn't freak out and start imagining worse case scenarios, why you should just wait it out, and what it looks like when you're texting a healthy guy.

Other episodes mentioned

5 signs to tell early on he's not the right one

Follow and Work with Melissa

  • The Back to You Academy is officially closed, but you can still work...
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The White Gumball: Prove Yourself to Me

When you're in a new relationship or just starting to go on a few dates with a guy, do you ever feel like you're being evaluated against some checklist on a clipboard?

He says things like, "When you do that it reminds me of my ex, who cheated on me..." or "I have trust issues so I can't handle it when you...". Then you find yourself doing backflips and performing trying to prove that you won't hurt him like the last girl. Things will be different this time, I'm not like the other girls!!

But he's still skeptical. And the more energy you spend trying to prove yourself, the more you lose part of your identity, the more your self confidence weakens, and the more you fall under his control.

And the more dopamine hits he gets so he can feel soothed, comforted by the fact that you probably won't leave him like the last girl.

Welcome to the last episode in this "flavors of attention" series! We've covered each Gumball flavor/color that correlates to a type of attention addiction that...

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The Pink Gumball: It's All About Me

Welcome back to this series, where we're talking about all the flavors of attention that the wrong guys want. They make us think that they're falling for us, but they're getting high off of attention and they're not actually building true and lasting connection.

I share this with you so you can understand how to filter unhealthy men and people out. So you don't waste your time on the people that are just taking from you, the people that are not really investing and focused on your life.

I've assigned each type of attention as a "flavor of attention" with all the different gumball flavors, and so far we've already covered red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple...and this episode is about pink! 

I encourage you to listen to the episodes about the other ones first, the links are at the bottom!

When a guy wants the Pink Gumball type of attention, he's the one who always makes every conversation about him. You could say anything, and he'll always turn it back to...

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The Purple Gumball: Chase Me

"Work is so crazy right now, but we should meet up soon." -text from a guy, probably sitting on his couch, who wants the Purple Gumball

If you're new to Gumball Love, welcome! Gumball Love is a concept created to help women see the red flags of fake love, and be able to identify real, unconditional love.

Each flavor "Gumball" represents a type of attention that a person is seeking from you. They will give you a "quarter" so you give them a gumball, and then they get "high" off the attention, like a sugar rush. They may therefore act like they care for you and love you, but it's really just to get the kind of attention they want from you.

I've been doing a podcast series going into depth and detail about each flavor gumball, or each type of attention, so you can really start to see the nuances and get really good at spotting the guys who aren't seeking a real intimate connection. The links to previous episodes in the series are at the bottom, I suggest you start from the...

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Soni Pelty Left an Abusive Marriage, Discovered Herself, and Found Real Love

If you are currently considering leaving your marriage, going through a divorce, or wondering how to get back into dating after divorce, you're gonna want to listen to this episode for some serious inspiration!

Soni Pelty got married at age 19 through an arranged marriage, as is custom in her Indian heritage. 

Things seemed fine the first couple months, until she discovered her husband's porn addiction.

After 22 years of dealing with this addiction, physical and emotional abuse, and fighting, Soni finally got the strength to leave the marriage after some wise words from her then 15 year old son. 

In her 40's and getting back into the dating game, Soni went on 300..yes, 300 dates!! With very clear intentions about what she wanted, until she finally found the man of her dreams and got remarried! 

But it wasn't just about finding the man. The most important part for Soni was finding herself and realizing her worth. Now, she helps other women do the same as a...

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How will I know if he's the right guy?

In this episode I'll be answering a listener question: How will I know if he's the right guy? She also feared that she may have so much self worth and love that no guy will ever be good enough for her. So if you've asked yourself similar questions, you'll want to tune in to this episode!

There are tons of "lists" out there that you'll find on Buzzfeed or wherever, but you know I always say there are no hard and fast "rules" in love, or one size fits all. So, this is a list of some simple things to look out for and what I've personally experienced after dating many guys who were definitely NOT the right one, and finally finding the guy who is. 

I also discuss how to be supportive and compassionate, without playing the role of his therapist and trying to help him heal when it's too big for you to handle (because you're not his therapist!!). 

The top three things are:

1. You're having fun with them all the time. Even the moments in life that are...

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Is Your Ex Still in Your Head?

Are you carrying around the weight of how your ex made you feel not good enough, into new relationships? Or maybe it's even affecting relationships with friends, family, or your work life. Don't beat yourself up about it or carry shame around about it!

"You're still gonna miss a guy that treated you poorly. It's part of the process."

You have so much love to give, and yet when you try to give this love, the men you're with question it. They doubt you and your love. Which gets into your head, and now you're questioning your own worth and value.

Now, when you try to date or get into a new relationship, you're questioning everything you say and do, and analyzing everything he says about you. It's exhausting.

The message I want to get across in this episode is that:

  1. These men are insecure, so they try to dim your light to make themselves feel better
  2. We all come from messy backgrounds, many of us didn't receive healthy love with our parents, so we need to do our own work to heal...
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I'm doing everything right...where is he?!

I'm back after a podcasting hiatus! 2020 has been full of twists and turns as we all know, and I wanted to give you the full rundown on what's been going on in my life behind the scenes. In this episode of Gumball Love I spill all the details on finding the love of my life, moving out of my beloved home of New York City, and the exciting new direction Gumball Love is heading!

We're also really going to dig into a common topic I hear from many of you in the Private Facebook group. Which is, when you feel like you're doing everything right, you're implementing the advice I'm giving you...and yet, you're still not finding love.

We examine the common beliefs and conditioning you may have that are standing in your way of you finding love, and how to rework these beliefs, decondition and shift your mindset, so you can make space for sustainable love!

Are you holding on to any of these beliefs?:

  • "I'm so dumb for staying with that last Gumball Guy."
  • "I'm running...
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Girl on Fire with Cara Alwill Leyba

I'm SO excited to be collaborating again with my good friend, mentor, and inspiration in so many ways, Cara Alwill Leyba from The Champagne Diet. Cara is a female empowerment coach, blogger, podcast host, and self-published author of 9 books, including the best seller Girl Code.

Today, on 11/11, and eleven years since she first started this journey with The Champagne Diet blog, she is releasing her 9th book, Girl on Fire: How to choose yourself, burn the rule book, and blaze your own trail in life and business.

I love Cara and her book because unlike a lot of other coaches out there who will tell you they know the best way to do things, Cara inspires you to find YOUR way, to blaze YOUR unique trail and find what lights YOUR fire. She is also extremely relatable, in the sense that she struggled with her weight for years, had deep self-esteem issues, dated guys that were wrong for her, and settled for less.

In this episode, we'll teach you how to identify what self-limiting...

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Is He Falling in Love or Full of BS? [Podcast EP 52]

How do you know if he's really falling in love? How do you know if the guy on the other side of the screen is really looking for true connection or if he's full of crap? In this episode, we're talking about how to know if the romance you're experiencing is really built to last for the long term or if it's just a temporary high that will leave and come back again for as long as you allow it.

You can also download and subscribe to this podcast for free on Apple PodcastsGoogle Podcasts, or Spotify, or listen on Youtube


But first...the self-care tip of the week!

This week, be mindful in noticing what inspires you. What gives you the full-body goosebump chills? What are the simple things that you just LOVE?

When you've been in Gumball Guy relationships and you've only thought about what they want and what they need, you lose who you are. After a relationship like that, finding a hobby feels like a daunting task. In reality, we...

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