The Purple Gumball: Chase Me

attention addiction dating advice dating coach gumball guy gumball love self worth Dec 06, 2020
Lazy but attractive guy drinking beer and looking at phone on the couch

"Work is so crazy right now, but we should meet up soon." -text from a guy, probably sitting on his couch, who wants the Purple Gumball

If you're new to Gumball Love, welcome! Gumball Love is a concept created to help women see the red flags of fake love, and be able to identify real, unconditional love.

Each flavor "Gumball" represents a type of attention that a person is seeking from you. They will give you a "quarter" so you give them a gumball, and then they get "high" off the attention, like a sugar rush. They may therefore act like they care for you and love you, but it's really just to get the kind of attention they want from you.

I've been doing a podcast series going into depth and detail about each flavor gumball, or each type of attention, so you can really start to see the nuances and get really good at spotting the guys who aren't seeking a real intimate connection. The links to previous episodes in the series are at the bottom, I suggest you start from the beginning if you haven't already!

This episode is all about the Purple Gumball, or the guy who gets high off you chasing and pursuing him. He's the guy who says and does just enough to keep you reeled in, but doesn't actually offer anything valuable to your life. He just takes and takes. 

He's the one who's always "too busy" and "not ready to date"...even though he's messaging you on a dating site. He never really makes concrete plans, he just says vague things like "we should meet up soon", or "what u up to"...trying to get you to chase and put in all the work.

You may start to question...why is he not excited to meet with me? Is there something wrong with me?

It is NOT about you. A person who doesn't respect another person's time, doesn't respect themselves. He doesn't respect himself, and he's likely hiding something, which is why he doesn't want to meet up. He wants to keep you on the hook because it's thrilling for him.

Tune in to listen to the full break down of the Purple Gumball, and how you can respond to this behavior.

Work with Melissa

Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? If you're tired of being the only person in your friend group who's not in a healthy, happy relationship, I can help you! Here's how:


Gumball Flavors Series: