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The vicious cycle you don't know you're in [Podcast EP 46]

Are you caught in the cycle of toxic relationships?

There is a reason why you feel exhausted all the time. Your energy is being sucked right out of you. And this is costing you everything- your relationship with friends and family, your career, your finances, and most of all, your happiness. When you're in an unhealthy relationship, you are caught in a vicious cycle I like to call the "Good Bad Ugly".

Good: The honeymoon period after a fight. You're cuddling, having intense sex, he's doing big romantic gestures. It's an extreme, intense high.

Bad: He starts pulling away again. He's not responding to texts, he's acting suspicious, he's spending all his time fixating on a distraction like fantasy sports, porn, drinking, other women or whatever is his personal flavor. You're trying to talk to him and find out what the problem is and he insists nothing's wrong, you're just acting crazy.

Ugly: The big, intense, explosive fight sesh that goes until 4 in the morning. You've said...

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Why you haven't found real love yet [Podcast episode 45]

Everyone on this earth is capable of finding real, lasting love, and everyone deserves it. But not everyone knows, REALLY knows and feels in their heart that they deserve it. 

This episode is for YOU if:

  • You're always waiting for him to text you back
  • You're constantly trying to mold and bend into what you think he wants you to be
  • You have trouble relaxing on the date because you're worried about how you look or how you're coming off
  • You always feel like you're putting way more effort into communication and plans than he is

You were born fully capable of sending and receiving real love. And somewhere along the way, the difference between real love and Gumball love (attention addiction) got lost. But it's not gone forever. Transformations happen, I see them every day in the women I coach one on one and in the Back to YOU Academy, and you can transform, too.

I'm fired up in this episode (again) but it comes from a place of love. I see your worth and value so...

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How to set boundaries in relationships [Podcast EP 44]

Healthy boundaries are becoming more and more of a popular topic these days. If you didn't grow up in a family with healthy boundaries (and many of us didn't) you wouldn't even know what boundaries look like or that you could have them.

Having boundaries is important because it preserves our energy. If you're constantly letting people in who suck away your energy, you will be left totally empty, exhausted, and unable to operate at your highest frequency. The world needs your light and your energy, so let's get this sorted!

In this podcast episode we'll cover:

  • How to know what your boundaries are
  • Why setting boundaries is important
  • Why we often avoid setting boundaries
  • What happens if you don't set boundaries
  • How to sort out which people in your life are crossing your boundaries
  • What it feels like and looks like to set boundaries (examples)

You can also download and subscribe to this podcast for free on Apple PodcastsGoogle Podcasts, ...

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5 signs to tell early on if he's the wrong one [Podcast Episode 43]

Are you confident in being able to distinguish between a good guy and a Gumball Guy on your own? How long does it take you to determine he's not the right one? After this podcast, you'll have a bloodhound nose for sniffing out the bad guys quickly just like me (I just got a puppy so my mind is SO on dogs!!). 

If you've been following this podcast for a while, chances are by now you've come to terms with the fact that your ex was a Gumball Guy, or the guy you're dating now is a Gumball Guy (and if not, go back to the beginning!) :)

But now, as you enter back into the dating scene, you might find it difficult to trust your own judgement. You might have a hunch this guy is a Gumball Guy but  you're second-guessing yourself. And the longer you are not sure and continue to feel him out, the more time you're wasting, and the more danger you're in of really falling for a Gumball Guy again.

I bet you're saying, "Melissa! I wish you could be sitting at the next table in a disguise...

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How to respond to "Let's take things slow" [Podcast Episode 42]

We've all heard the advice before to "take it slow" so that we don't get hurt again. When a guy says this to you, or when you're thinking you need to do this with a new guy, it may seem sensible, but it's really not.

It's another form of manipulation and control. It's saying, "I haven't done the work to heal from my past relationship, and so I'm going to carry that into this relationship and I expect you to sensor yourself so that I'm not triggered, thank you very much."

In episode 42, we cover:

  • What he really means by "let's take things slow"
  • Why requesting to "take things slow" prevents the ability to create intimacy
  • How to know if you're relationship is moving at a healthy speed
  • What happy couples say about "taking things slow" and other "rules of dating"
  • What to respond when he says "let's take things slow"
  • How to be confident in knowing that it's time to stop dating the guy who wants to "take things slow" and walk away
  • Updates on the transformations of the girls currently in...
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The Psychological Reason for Ghosting that No One Talks About [Podcast Episode 41]

The Cosmo magazines of the world will tell you you're being ghosted because you're too clingy, or revealing emotions too soon. Guys will tell you they just forgot or don't like to be on their phone all the time. But is that really the case, or is there a deeper, more psychological reason?

A guy from an online dating app texts you, "Hey, what's up." You continue on with a shallow text conversation for a while and finally ask..."Should we meet up?" Suddenly, he becomes the busiest guy in the world and can't find any time to pencil you in but keeps promising you'll meet up some vague time in the future.

By the end of this episode you will know why he does this, why it has nothing to do with you, and you will understand the true pain behind his shallow, distant texts. You will be able to separate his behavior from your self worth.

In this episode, I cover:

    • What "pick-up artists" for men are teaching (and not teaching) to shy, insecure guys, and why it hurts more than it helps
    • Why...
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Are you open to receiving love? [Podcast Episode 40]

You can also download and subscribe to this podcast for free on Apple PodcastsGoogle Podcasts, or Spotify.

Wow, episode number 40!! Thank you all so much who have been listening from the beginning, and those who have joined along the way. 

In this episode, I get really vulnerable with you. I want to let you in on what I've struggled with along this journey of coaching and sharing the Gumball Love concept.

As a challenge to you AND to myself, we need to start claiming our success. When someone falls in love with us and sees our best qualities, we need to be able to receive that love. 

I let you in on what it was really like for me trying to get this concept of Gumball Love started 10 years ago. It took me a long, long time of fighting my own fears and doubts in order to finally put this idea out there.

And even today, those old feelings of embarrassment creep up--it's hard for me to receive the praise from the girls in the...

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Who are you really getting ready for? [Podcast Ep 39]

You can also download and subscribe to this podcast for free on Apple PodcastsGoogle Podcasts, or Spotify.


One of the girls in the Back to YOU Academy had an amazing revelation that I HAD to share with you (without sharing her name, of course!).

She was about to be going on a date with someone she met online.

And thought, as she was doing the make-up, the hair, choosing the right dress..."Who am I really getting ready for? Why am I dressing up and putting in all this effort for these guys who I don't even know?"

She is still healing from a past relationship and hasn't really gotten to a place yet where she knows who she is and is comfortable in her own skin.

She realized these dates are just a momentary escape that don't really serve her.

She was molding into whatever these guys wanted her to be, and not truly just being herself..because she doesn't know who that is. YET.

The real person you need to be dating right now is in the mirror.

So that eventually, when...

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Are you Ready to Date Again after a Toxic Relationship?

Are you ready to date again? You recently got out of a toxic relationship...cheers to you! So how do you know if you're ready to get back into the dating scene or if you should take a break?

We all know that saying..."To get over him you have to get under someone else." Does that really work? It "works" for Gumball People. And you are not a Gumball Person, because you're reading this post!

In this episode I go over why it's important to hold off on dating after a toxic relationship and how to get ready to date again with examples and of course, analogies...you know I love analogies;)

You can also download and subscribe to this podcast for free on Apple PodcastsGoogle Podcasts, or Spotify.


Why it's important to wait until you're ready to date again

We underestimate the damage of being in a toxic relationship. Our Gumball ex is that voice of doubt in the back of our minds whenever we do something. Like when you're trying to decide if you should buy a plant or a...

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He's putting in no effort...why do I chase him? [Podcast]

What is it about him?  He is putting in almost no effort yet he's the one that makes you feel weak in the knees.  

We decode how this guy keeps you reeled in and how you can finally break this pattern. 

Want more?

Join the Back to You Academy: Click here!

Book a one-on-one session with me for ultimate clarity

Join the Private VIP Facebook Group

Follow me on Instagram: @themelissaleger

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