"Work is so crazy right now, but we should meet up soon." -text from a guy, probably sitting on his couch, who wants the Purple Gumball
If you're new to Gumball Love, welcome! Gumball Love is a concept created to help women see the red flags of fake love, and be able to identify real, unconditional love.
Each flavor "Gumball" represents a type of attention that a person is seeking from you. They will give you a "quarter" so you give them a gumball, and then they get "high" off the attention, like a sugar rush. They may therefore act like they care for you and love you, but it's really just to get the kind of attention they want from you.
I've been doing a podcast series going into depth and detail about each flavor gumball, or each type of attention, so you can really start to see the nuances and get really good at spotting the guys who aren't seeking a real intimate connection. The links to previous episodes in the series are at the bottom, I suggest you start from the...
Welcome back! If you haven't been following the Gumball Colors series, I'm going through all eight colors of the flavors of Gumball Love. If you're brand new to Gumball Love, Gumball Love is the addiction to attention, or to the rush that attention gives us.
I suggest if you haven't already, start back at the beginning of the series and listen to the first four colors before moving on to this one. The links are at the bottom of this post for quick access.
This episode is about the Blue Gumball, or as I like to call it, "Pity Me". This is the guy (or person, if it's one of your friends or family members), who is always complaining about everything and wants your constant sympathy and pity. You try and give them advice, but they never take action on anything. They just want to hear themselves complain.
We all have our low moments where sometimes we just want to vent, and we just need a pep talk. But there is a difference between this, and the unhealthy...
In the past few episodes, I've been going over the different gumball "flavors" or different types of attention that Gumball Guys crave so that you can start to watch out for the red flags.
The Red Gumball is all about sex, the Orange is all about stirring up drama, the Yellow wants you to constantly be entertaining him and keeping your attention on him, and now, we come to the Green Gumball guy: Green with Envy, Compete with Her for Me.
This is the guy who you'll be sitting with at your first or second date and he says, "I've gone on a few dates with this other girl, and I really thought she was it for me, but now that I've met you...I really like you too. I'm just not sure."
Just imagine, how do you feel in that moment?
You may feel the sudden urge to prove yourself worthy. Prove that YOU'RE the right choice, and start to compete with her. And that's exactly what gives him the high.
Or, you might be at a restaurant with him on a date, and he starts flirting with...
Does it feel like you always have to be entertaining your guy, or he's bored?
A while back I'd started a series assigning a different color or "flavor of attention" to each type of Gumball Guy.
I've already done an episode on the Red Gumball, which is the guy who is all about sex, and the Orange Gumball, which is the guy who wants the intense drama.
In this episode, I talk about the Yellow Gumball, which is the guy who wants you to entertain him or put all your attention on him. He's that guy who is like a giant fussy baby...always too hot, too cold, the music is too loud or not loud enough, he's tired, he's bored at the party asking how much longer you have to stay.
He's looking on his phone rather than paying attention to anyone around him, if the attention isn't on him he's uninterested.
All conversations tend to be about him or things he's interested in. So when it's something you're interested in, you feel like you have a limited amount of time that you can...
In this episode, I'm answering your questions! We've got scenarios like..
**Trigger warning: suicide is discussed in this episode**
The answers to these questions lie in understanding our own unique value, as well as the importance of communication.
When a person doesn't know what they want, doesn't know how to ask for what they want, or doesn't see their own value, that's when scenarios like ghosting, or seemingly out of no where remarks like...
If you are currently considering leaving your marriage, going through a divorce, or wondering how to get back into dating after divorce, you're gonna want to listen to this episode for some serious inspiration!
Soni Pelty got married at age 19 through an arranged marriage, as is custom in her Indian heritage.
Things seemed fine the first couple months, until she discovered her husband's porn addiction.
After 22 years of dealing with this addiction, physical and emotional abuse, and fighting, Soni finally got the strength to leave the marriage after some wise words from her then 15 year old son.
In her 40's and getting back into the dating game, Soni went on 300..yes, 300 dates!! With very clear intentions about what she wanted, until she finally found the man of her dreams and got remarried!
But it wasn't just about finding the man. The most important part for Soni was finding herself and realizing her worth. Now, she helps other women do the same as a...
In this episode, learn how to elevate your life and boost your energy levels on a budget. We'll talk about how to bring hobbies, community, and people into your life like fitness trainers, personal chefs, personal assistants...and not break the bank. You'll learn how to focus on only the things that you do really well and that bring you joy, and outsource or systemize the rest.
When things in our life are out of order, disorganized, not clean..and when we're out of shape or not keeping up with eating healthily, we start to feel bad about ourselves and it causes negative ripple effects in other areas of our life.
We really need to get our priorities straight. So often I see women say they don't have enough to hire a fitness trainer but they're shopping in Amazon for their next pair of shoes.
In order to, to elevate your life, you have to actually commit to the idea of investing in yourself, and know that you are worth it. Know the value of you living a healthy life,...
In this episode I'll be answering a listener question: How will I know if he's the right guy? She also feared that she may have so much self worth and love that no guy will ever be good enough for her. So if you've asked yourself similar questions, you'll want to tune in to this episode!
There are tons of "lists" out there that you'll find on Buzzfeed or wherever, but you know I always say there are no hard and fast "rules" in love, or one size fits all. So, this is a list of some simple things to look out for and what I've personally experienced after dating many guys who were definitely NOT the right one, and finally finding the guy who is.
I also discuss how to be supportive and compassionate, without playing the role of his therapist and trying to help him heal when it's too big for you to handle (because you're not his therapist!!).
1. You're having fun with them all the time. Even the moments in life that are...
Are you sitting there, waiting to find someone to "complete" you?
Do you feel like your life won't really begin, or you can't let it begin, without finding "The One"?
Are you feeling purposeless and unfulfilled in your life, and thinking if you could just find the guy, things would finally all fall into place and you'll be happy?
Then you NEED to hear this episode my girl!!
Unfortunately, Hollywood gives us this perception that we are all incomplete people, and we need to find the one who will complete us and we'll ride happily into the sunset.
It's a lie. We must first learn to see ourselves as complete, and love ourselves just as we are right now. We must focus on fulfilling our own lives and stop waiting for the guy.
In this episode, I dive into how you can start finding fulfillment in your life while you are single, and really enjoy the single phase.
I also discuss:
Are you carrying around the weight of how your ex made you feel not good enough, into new relationships? Or maybe it's even affecting relationships with friends, family, or your work life. Don't beat yourself up about it or carry shame around about it!
"You're still gonna miss a guy that treated you poorly. It's part of the process."
You have so much love to give, and yet when you try to give this love, the men you're with question it. They doubt you and your love. Which gets into your head, and now you're questioning your own worth and value.
Now, when you try to date or get into a new relationship, you're questioning everything you say and do, and analyzing everything he says about you. It's exhausting.
The message I want to get across in this episode is that: