The Gumball Guy is an attention addict. Each Gumball is temporary fix and each color is a different flavor of attention. When the affect is over, he puts in a quarter to get another Gumball. This is what we don’t see, the quarter. The nudge, text or suggestion that prompts us to provide the Gumball. We happily give it while in the haze of chemistry and attraction.
In the beginning he is charming, warm and irresistible, but over time he pulls away, becomes distant, disappears or cheats. The games he plays can be very confusing and the mixed messages can are more painful the stronger your feelings grow for him. Here are the top warning signs.
He has difficulty maintaining focus when you talk unless it’s about him. To test this theory, tell a long story. My go-to is my club house story. I had a little club house when I was a kid that I used to play in. It was a little wooden shed my dad had built in our back yard that was basically a forest. (Right about here is when you lose the Gumball Guy.) He might look away, take an annoyed deep breath and the strain in his eyes will be extremely apparent.
Quick tip: Give him a Gumball right in the middle of your story to see if his mood changes. “Hey, how is your work going? Are you so excited about your promotion?” See if he perks up any time it’s about him.
He doesn’t answer all of your texts: You are texting him and his tempo becomes inconsistent. You ask a question and he ignores it. When he comes back he acts as if it wasn’t even asked. When this happened to me, I used to question if it was a dumb thing to ask or if he was losing interest. This would make me panic and try harder. I would sometimes even apologize for asking something because the lack of response would make me think he was losing interest. However, when your text isn’t a Gumball he has little motivation to reply.
He can’t follow through on plans: He seems really warm and calls you baby, but then can’t quite commit to simple plans on a Friday night. This is because he looks at his options like flavors of Gumballs. Which flavor do I want tonight? He likes to keep his options open to satisfy the exact craving he has in the moment. To plan ahead would mean taking a risk in not getting the kind he wants. So he waits and doesn’t think about how this action is a waste of other people’s time.
He can’t see value: If you are following Gumball Love you are my kind of people. You are a great friend, you make the bed and fold the sheets even though you know your friend is going to wash them anyway. You bring meals to people who have lost loved ones. You are loyal, honest and trustworthy. You are A GEM, A PEARL and someone to be TREASURED. When you are with a Gumball Guy he just wants attention, he doesn’t place value on things that are really worth something. Instead he wants what will make him happy right now.
He cheats: He cheats because he’s bored. You leave town or even get in a fight with him, he is a flight risk.An argument means he has to do something that isn’t fun. He has to repair damage, have an uncomfortable conversation and take actions that say he is willing to invest in the relationship.
The Gumball Guy will take the easy way out. He will text a girl he has in the bull pen and hook up with her to satisfy his craving for attention. He waits until the storm has passed and you are now sad and missing him. He times it just right so the sad texts come in (more Gumballs for him) and he gets back into your good graces without doing any work … once again
He doesn’t have real friends:
He might say “My buddy this or that” But you will find he rarely has true good friends. The reason is because the Gumball Guy uses people. He doesn’t invest in anyone very deeply. You will find his friends, if he has them, are very surface level and not around for long. Or he has a very weak man friend who lets him walk all over him and use him when he needs the companionship.