It’s so great to meet you and I appreciate you listening to the Podcast. Whether you know me through Cara’s snap chat or we are meeting for the first time, I am so excited you are here. After recording the show, a million thoughts went through my head.
First of all, were you not blown away by Cara’s Gumball Guy boyfriend who laughed and rolled his eyes at the idea of her writing a book? To see her now and know how far she has come, the question I ask is, “Where would she be if she had stayed with him?”
When I think about that, I immediately see the ripple effect. I met Cara a little over a year ago when I was at the lowest point of my career. We went to Soul Cycle in Brooklyn, had lunch and one of the most nourishing and uplifting conversations of my life. I was so energized and refocused, I walked all the way back to my apartment in Manhattan. The feeling in my heart looking at the city as I crossed the Brooklyn Bridge was forever changed.
If she had stayed with her Gumball Guy, I would never have known her and never had that experience. Think about that for a second. Undo every post she has made, take away all the knowledge you have from her books. Do you feel the void? More like a canyon!
When I really think about her influence, removing it would be dramatic. I would have to return the gorgeous bedroom set I just got, blow out the candles that now burn all day in my home, take away the bubble baths and remove my fancy coffee mug. I wouldn’t know about raising my glam vibration or her famous line, “Check your F*ks at the door.” I also wouldn’t know the biggest lesson of all that I learned from Cara. To follow my intuition, to think about what my girls need and not worry about what anyone else is doing; to cultivate my very own creation and never compare to anyone. That is PROFOUND. It changed my business in a way I will probably never be able to explain to her.
You may feel so low right now, the idea of having the impact Cara has may seem too big. But think about how she must have felt the moment the man she loved rolled his eyes at her dreams? How crushing that feeling must have been?
I wondered what she felt in that moment so I decided to ask her. This is what I love about Cara. There is still a part of me that sees her as a celebrity, but each time I reach out to her I always find her warm, loving and present.
Here was her reply. ” I prioritized my own potential over his for the first time ever. That is my definition of self-love. When you recognize and fall in love with YOUR potential and not the guys’. That was the first time I began to love myself. In that moment.”
I challenge you. Right now to consider your potential. And ask yourself …
Is he worth it?
Take a moment to think about your business and what you are trying to accomplish. When you succeed, what will it look like? Who will be helped? Is the guy in your life right now going to prevent that from happening? Is he worth the cost of losing it all? The obvious answer is no but the decision to leave is much harder. Keep your chin up though… the fact you are reading this right now is huge. It means you have hope in your heart and the fire is ignited for your dream. You know your relationship is hurting you but you don’t want to be alone. I can’t make the choice for you but I am going to give you three things to consider.
⦁ Is he more important than the people you will help? I came to this exact spot 4 years ago when I decided to leave the guy who wanted to marry me. His negativity was so hard on me I couldn’t fill my bucket when he was poking holes in it. I pictured all the girls I wanted to help, staring at their ceiling fans with tears in their eyes wondering, why they weren’t enough. This image started blurring over the rings at the jewelry store as we shopped for my engagement ring. I felt the urge to run. Like literally run. I wanted to have the pretty picture I could post on Instagram but my gut instinct was to get out.
⦁ Consider both lives…Loving him or leaving him: Grab a journal or a piece of paper, a glass of wine and turn on some instrumental music. The kind that allows your thoughts to flow. Write everything you would gain by keeping him in your life. Then turn it around and write everything you would gain by leaving and starting a new life. When I did this I had to admit things like, “I don’t want to be alone, I am afraid no one else will want me, I don’t want to think of him with another woman. I don’t want to start over, I just want to be married and for this phase of my life to be over.” On the other hand, starting a new life made me write down things like, “I could meet the person I’m truly meant to be with, I could achieve my dreams and live with on regrets.”
⦁ You have to let go of something lower to take a hold of something higher. The life you want is higher than the life you have. The things holding you back can’t come with you. The dream you are meant to have will require you to let go of the things weighing you down. Even a rose bush has to be pruned of pretty blooms in order to thrive and grow.
Remember. It is no accident you are at this point in your journey. The life you were called to live is important. Your mission could be much bigger than you ever imagined. Cara dreamed of becoming a published author. But she had to make a decision in one critical moment…to love herself.
So I ask you. In this moment, what will you choose?